


fired

by silverkatana



Category: Super Junior
Genre: Gen, Pure Crack, because jungsoo keeps crossdressing as a maid, idk am i high
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-13
Updated: 2018-11-13
Packaged: 2019-08-23 00:47:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,897
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16608647
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/silverkatana/pseuds/silverkatana
Summary: in which park jungsoo works at a maid cafe, and kim heechul, a young rich businessman, decides to visit that same maid cafe.(and then jungsoo gets fired, and chaos ensues.)





	fired

**Author's Note:**

> written based on a tweet: "now that we've all absorbed the maid costume, if @sjpetals doesn't write a maid au 83line oneshot (probably ending with teuk getting fired and the house blowing up or smthn cuz happiness can't exist) then what is the point"
> 
> pure crack, because honestly i had no idea what i was writing. truly, what is the point? enjoy.

  
  


“Heechul-hyung!” His name is called, breaking the silence filtering through his drab grey office at one-thirty in the afternoon. He sets aside his paperwork, a soft  _ click  _ being sounded out as he closes his black ring file and tidies up the papers and stationaries littering his desk.

 

There’s a knock on the door, and before he can respond, it bursts open anyway. He can’t help but chuckle despite being so suddenly interrupted, watching as two of his friends walk into the office - Cho Kyuhyun, the youngest of his group of friends, and also the one who rather unfortunately developed the habit of interrupting his work without any sense of guilt, accompanied by Lee Hyukjae who had the decency to look at least  _ somewhat  _ apologetic.

 

Not really, no.

 

“What is it?” he questions, putting his files away in their separate drawers. 

 

“Let’s go out,” Hyukjae declares, “We’ll wait for you outside.”

 

_ I didn’t even say I could go,  _ Heechul thinks wryly with a soft sigh slipping through his lips, but to be completely honest, it’s Friday and going anywhere aside from his office sounds like a good idea to him; that’s how he finds himself exiting his own office barely a couple of minutes before his two friends did, calling to his secretary that he would be out for lunch and that he would return later on to complete his paperwork.

 

Kyuhyun and Hyukjae are already in the car by the time he takes the lift down from the upper floors to the lobby, and he’s only just scrambled into the back seat when Hyukjae steps on the pedal and begins driving, pulling away from the high-rise buildings of central Seoul.

 

“Where exactly are we going, by the way?” Heechul queries with his eyes trained on the passing view outside of the car window, noting with faint suspicion that they’ve driven past all of their regular lunch stops by now; Kyuhyun snickers, and Hyukjae doesn’t respond.

 

“Tell me, you assholes,” he groans, leaning back into the car seat and closing his eyes. “You can’t treat your hyung like this.”

 

A pregnant pause hangs between them for a full minute or longer, and Heechul cracks open one eye in annoyance. “I swear-”

 

Kyuhyun bursts out in laughter.

 

“A maid cafe, hyung. We’re going to a maid cafe.”

 

“Oh,” he responds flatly as he closes his eye again and enjoys the smooth motion of the car moving swiftly along long winding roads.

 

_ A maid cafe for a meal, huh. Anything’s better than eating in that stuffy office -  _

 

“Wait.” Both of his eyes shoot open this time and he sits upright as though his spine had been replaced by a rigid metal rod. “Repeat that.”

 

“A maid cafe, hyung,” Kyuhyun tosses over his shoulder languidly from the passenger seat at the front, and Heechul can’t see most of his face but he’ll be willing to bet his entire business that the little brat is smirking with that irritatingly gloating expression of his. “We’re bringing you to a maid cafe.”

 

“Are you fucking serious right now?” he deadpans. “You’re bringing me to a maid cafe. A well-known businessman from a conglomerate family. In my suit.”

 

“Yes,” Hyukjae replies all-too-cheerfully.

 

There’s another pause, and Kyuhyun peeks over his shoulder, only to look away immediately as he’s met with a decidedly cold glare. “I’m going to kill you,” Heechul comments calmly.

 

“That’s nice,” Hyukjae hums non-committally, rounding a bend and pointing out the window to a sign that reads  _ maid cafe _ .

 

“If you weren’t driving right now I’d have rammed my foot into your chair and broken your spine,” Heechul gets out through gritted teeth.

 

Hyukjae parks the car, and when the two of them unbuckle their seatbelts Heechul is painfully aware that they aren’t playing a joke on him and that they really, truly are going to a maid cafe. “Just wait until you get out of this car,” he mutters loud enough for Hyukjae to hear him, “I’m kicking you onto the road so that you can get run over by another vehicle.”

 

“That’s a crime, hyung,” Hyukjae retorts with a bright smile on his face as he opens the car door. Heechul leans back into the car seat with a groan, wondering whether it would be better to skip lunch entirely.

 

_ I don’t need food to survive. I’m fine. I’ll wait for them to go in and I’ll hire a taxi and get my dumb ass back to the office. _

 

His thoughts are interrupted by Hyukjae opening the car door, still bearing that annoyingly wide smile. “I even helped you open the door!” he exclaims, and behind the layer of false cheeriness, Heechul can too easily pick apart the mirth colouring every syllable of his.

 

“How nice of you,” he snaps sarcastically, accompanied by a roll of his eyes as he steps out of the car with a grimace. His two friends snicker simultaneously and begin leading the way to the entrance of the cafe (although Hyukjae keeps an eye on him just in case he really keeps to his word and ends up murdering them).

 

They’re greeted enthusiastically at the front door by a girl in a maid costume, and as they’re led inside he can already feel the surprised gazes piercing into him - of course they’re surprised; him, the son of a widely successful businessman, dressed in his expensive suit and black shoes and being dragged through a maid cafe by two of his friends - but he ignores them, instead purposefully staring at the pastel-painted walls of the cafe and at the nondescript tiles that he treads on.

 

There’s a chorus of voices that greet them, and he’s forced to look up to acknowledge the people working in the maid cafe briefly; to him, they all look the same, with straight black hair and trimmed bangs complete with a small upward quirk of their lips and light pink-coloured makeup adorning their cheeks.

 

For what seems to him like the thousandth time for the hour, he sighs and wonders why and how Hyukjae and Kyuhyun came up with this terrible idea.

 

They probably just wanted to embarrass him.

 

_ Well, it’s working _ , he thinks bitterly as he sits at the table and flips open the menu placed delicately in front of him.

 

“Hello, may I take your orders?” The one who asks is yet another female dressed up as a maid with a bright smile across her features. He looks at her out of politeness while requesting a sandwich and a coffee, but his eyes end up straying to the interior design of the place and idly he wonders what people find so attractive about maid cafes.

 

“Enjoying it?” Kyuhyun asks him a few minutes after the waitress leaves, earning himself nothing more than a scowl and a kick in the leg by Heechul.

 

“Honestly, what the hell-” Partway through his complaint, footsteps sound behind him and he clamps his mouth shut immediately, settling with glaring sideways at Kyuhyun somewhat discreetly. 

 

“Here are your orders.” Another maid is serving them, placing their orders on the table in front of them; Heechul doesn’t bother to look up at her, watching as the food is served.

 

_ Her fingers are slender and long. _

 

She stands next to him while serving the food, and from the corner of his eye he glimpses part of her figure and tilts his head a little - she’s really tall compared to the other maids, and her voice is a little lower too. More soothing, unlike the incessantly high-pitched voices of the others.

 

“Thank you,” Hyukjae and Kyuhyun chorus, and he’s forced to look up at her to shoot her a thin smile - he wonders if the maids can see how much he despises being here - and that’s when his heart decides to stop beating for a second and his lungs forget how to work.

 

_ Wait a moment. _

 

_ She’s different from the other maids. _

 

Her hair falls in slight waves, a dark brown colour instead of the straight black hairstyle bore by everyone else. He squints at her - something seems different, somehow; the same pink makeup heavily coats her cheeks, and her smile is picture-perfect and well-trained just like everyone’s else.

 

_ What the hell is different about her? _

 

“Oh my god,” he says aloud as his entire body jerks backwards for a moment, and he’s shot three questioning glances. “N - nothing. Thank you for the food.”

 

She inclines her body slightly in a respectful bow before she moves off to serve another customer - he sneaks a glance at her nametag.

 

_ Park Jungsoo. _

 

“What was that all about?” Kyuhyun questions instantly with a raised eyebrow.

 

“Nothing,” he dismisses as smoothly as he can, “Just thought about something at work.”

 

_ No, it’s not nothing. _

 

_ Park Jungsoo - that maid - is a fucking male. _

 

He’s not sure how Jungsoo has managed to fool everyone - actually, he can, considering how the wig and makeup is extremely convincing, and both Hyukjae and Kyuhyun seem not to have noticed anything out of the ordinary - but by now he’s a hundred percent sure that Jungsoo is a male and now he’s stupidly curious to find out why and what exactly is going on.

 

And maybe he’s a tiny bit attracted to Park Jungsoo.

 

Just a little bit.

 

“I’m going to the bathroom,” he announces the moment he sets down his cutlery, and both Hyukjae and Kyuhyun think nothing of it with simultaneous nods indicating their acknowledgement; he hurries towards where the bathroom is, turning the corner and conveniently - or not really - running into none other than Jungsoo.

 

“Excuse me,” he - she - now he’s confused -  _ he _ stammers as he glances at Heechul, who shoots him a faint smile.

 

“Your name is Jungsoo, right?” he queries, seeing the mild confusion visible in Jungsoo’s gaze. “And you’re actually a male, not a female, am I correct?”

 

_ Way to be straightforward, Heechul. _

 

Jungsoo nearly drops the tray that he’s holding.

 

Heechul feels himself being pulled forward, towards the room labelled as ‘staff-only’ out of public sight. “Keep your voice down,” Jungsoo hisses, and Heechul notes subconsciously that he’s reverted back to his regular voice, judging by how much lower his tone sounds, “How did you find out?”

 

“Impressive makeup,” Heechul compliments.

 

“How did you know?” The question comes again, more urgent this time, and when Heechul hesitates again Jungsoo lets out a silent sigh and mutters, “Listen, I don’t care what methods you have to deduce my gender but please, I just need to know to better my disguise if I want to keep this damned job.”

 

“I’m attracted to you and I don’t like girls,” Heechul admits flatly.

 

There’s a pause.

 

“Oh.”

 

_ Way to go, Heechul. _

 

“Can you take off your wig?” Heechul blurts out, seeing the uncertainty and shock that flits across Jungsoo’s expression at the sudden request. “Sorry, I just… wanted to see how you actually looked without the female disguise and all.”

 

Jungsoo glances around furtively, watching as a customer exits the female bathroom and leaves, her heels going  _ click-clack  _ against the tiled floors in the awkward silence that hangs between them.

 

“Follow me,” he concedes at last, pushing open the door to the staff room quietly and beckoning for Heechul to follow.

 

It’s dark in the small windowless room, and Jungsoo makes him stand against the door before sucking in a quick breath and reaching up to pull the wig off his head. Thick female makeup aside, Heechul takes in his features; dark brown hair with a side fringe, slightly messy from the wig, and undeniably handsome facial features if the makeup were to be ignored.

 

And then there’s a thudding sound, and Heechul nearly lets out a yelp as he feels an impact against his spine with the door being pushed from the outside. “Park Jungsoo!” comes a yell, rough and definitely male. “If you’re in there slacking you better have a good excuse! More customers are coming in!”

 

Jungsoo pales.

 

Heechul can’t really tell, considering the gloom of the room, but he’s assuming that Jungsoo pales, given the way his breath hitches and he grabs the wig in a hurry, cursing silently to himself.

 

“Jungsoo!”

 

The door slams open, and Heechul lets out a choked sound as he’s pushed forward, barely stopping himself from falling to the ground.

 

The man who Heechul can only assume is the owner of the cafe eyes him with a mixture of utter confusion, disdain and bewilderment before turning to Jungsoo; Heechul can’t help feeling a tiny bit indignant at being ignored and set aside to be dealt with at a later time.

 

_ You fat asshole, I swear if you’re gonna be rude I’ll buy the damn cafe from you and - _

 

“Jungsoo,” the owner speaks in a low tone, staring blankly at the worker in front of him who is decidedly  _ not _ female, yet is outfitted in the cafe’s maid outfit with a nametag clearly stating  _ Park Jungsoo _ , “What the fuck?”

 

“I - I can explain,” Jungsoo stammers, and Heechul winces slightly as he hears Jungsoo’s feeble and definitely male voice cut through the bemusement hanging thick in the air.

 

“No, you can’t,” the owner states in disgust, glaring at Jungsoo and Heechul, “Get out of that costume, you’re fired. And you too, get the hell out of here.”

 

Jungsoo bites his lip and looks down, and with a swift motion he removes his own nametag and clutches it in his palm. “Yes, sir.”

 

“Bitch,” Heechul mutters, just loud enough for the owner to hear as he walks past, hand gripping the doorknob tightly enough for his knuckles to turn a lighter shade, “My name is Kim Heechul. Remember it.”

 

He moves back out to the table where Hyukjae and Kyuhyun are seated, grabbing his things with a forced smile. “Sorry, work calls. I have to get back now,” he excuses himself, not giving the two of them time to bombard him with questions, “I’ll take a cab. Have fun.” 

 

He exits with haste, ignoring the perplexed stares boring into his shoulderblades as he pretends to grab his phone and make a call to his colleagues; he turns the corner away from the cafe and leans against the wall with a sigh, staring down at his black phone screen.

 

_ What the hell did I just do? _

 

“Hey.”

 

He’s alerted to Jungsoo’s presence by the softly-spoken word - Jungsoo stands in front of him, dressed in a regular T-shirt and navy jeans, his face rid of makeup and his hair relatively neat. 

 

“Oh,” he doesn’t quite know what to say, considering how every time he’s met with a fired employee  _ he’s _ usually the one who does the firing, “I’m sorry.”

 

Jungsoo huffs out a tired sigh. “They were bound to find out eventually, I guess.”

 

“He was still an excuse, though,” Heechul mutters. “Are you heading home now?”

 

“I got kicked out,” Jungsoo confesses bluntly, “He got me to change and kicked me out. My phone, keys and wallet are still in the cafe.”

 

_ Oh, he’s such a fucking jerk. _

 

“I’m calling a cab, get into it with me,” Heechul offers suddenly, seeing the uncertainty crossing Jungsoo’s features, “No, I’m not being a creep, I swear. It’s too cold out for you to be wearing a T-shirt and for me to be wearing a suit and you can’t even go home now. Just - get in, damn it, I’m not going to do anything to you.”

 

Jungsoo looks somewhat suspicious still, but perhaps standing in the nearly-winter chill for seven minutes is enough to change his mind, because when the taxi finally pulls up he complies with an expression akin to relief and climbs into the vehicle.

 

Heechul tells the driver his address, settling comfortably against the taxi seat and pulling out his phone.

 

_ Ryeowook, you’re working in the office now right? Text Kyuhyun for the details about the cafe. I want to buy it. _

 

There’s a vibration approximately five minutes later. Ryeowook’s reply.

 

_ Pardon me for asking, but did you mean buying shares? _

 

_ No, Ryeowook. Buy the entire business. _

 

He puts away his phone, feeling decidedly satisfied with himself, before he remembers a little something and sends Ryeowook another text.

 

_ And tell the owner of that cafe that my name’s Kim Heechul. _

 

“Why are you smiling to yourself?” Jungsoo questions, glancing at him with a raised eyebrow.

 

“Nothing,” Heechul responds a little too cheerfully, “Don’t worry, you can stay at my place until we retrieve your keys.”

 

Jungsoo sighs, but judging by the small smile playing on his lips he’s pretty resigned to his fate.

  
  
  


Three days later, Heechul walks in from work to see Jungsoo sitting on the couch of his living room. “Hello, I have your keys and your valuables,” he announces, placing the phone, wallet and keys in front of Jungsoo, who receives them gratefully.

  
“Thank you, but can I ask you a question?” Jungsoo queries.

 

“Go ahead.”

 

“Please tell me you didn’t burn the place down.”

 

_ Oops. _

 

“I didn’t,” he defends with an award-winning smile as he plops himself down next to Jungsoo, “Long story short, I bought the cafe, humiliated the owner, and then I had nothing to do with it so I let my niece play there. The kitchen’s door was open, and, well, things happened.”

 

Jungsoo stares at him.

 

“You were responsible for setting the place on fire,” he says flatly.

 

Heechul concedes.

 

“Maybe I was.”

  
  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> twitter


End file.
